"On February 7, 2011, Alternate Energy Holdings, Inc. (the "Company") accepted the resignations, effectively immediately, of Mr. Leon Eliason and Mr. Gregory Kane from the Board of Directors of the Company. Mr. Eliason and Mr. Kane have each served on the Board of Directors of the Company since the Company’s inception in 2006. Both Mr. Eliason and Mr. Kane resigned due to personal reasons and not over any disagreement with the Company’s Board of Directors or its management.
The Company intends to search for potential candidates to appoint as new directors of the Company to fill the vacancies created by Mr. Eliason’s and Mr. Kane’s resignations."
Here's a draft ad to help the company fill these vital positions so Don and Jenny can get that company credit card up and running again:
Dynamic Nuclear Startup Seeks Directors
Fast Growing, fast spending, and fast talking nuclear company seeks to fill two positions on the company board of directors. Successful applicants will pretend to exercise corporate oversight while ignoring large wheelbarrows of cash, jewelry, cruise tickets, and post-it notes being shoveled into Maseratis, Range Rovers, and Platinum Ford F150(Compensating Edition) Pickups. Candidates should be blind, deaf, and functionally illiterate to avoid uncomfortable situations involving angry shareholders, regulators, and SEC investigators. Board members receive as compensation these handsome stock certificates which are also suitable for framing. Speaking of framing, the CEO didn't do it and you shouldn't ask. And the last guys left because they wanted to go fishing more, we swear. And don't forget, we have the fifth amendment, just in case you might need it in the future.
Submit resumes to: That hastily erected tent on the street corner staffed by
|Key Senior Executive Vice President for StreetCorner Resume Tents Jennifer Ransom and (now former) Chief Press Release Writer Martin Johncox work over a crowd with promises of jobs in a nonexistent plant.|
|Key Senior Excecutive Vice President for NonExistent Job Resume Submissions Jennifer Ransom accepts resume for nonexistent job in nonexistent plant. Note nearby purse brimming with cruise tickets, keys to Range Rover.|